Let That Be Enough

"God will move mountains
to put you where He wants you." - Chris Tomlin

"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you
will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"- Philippians 1:6

Conversations

CNY seems to have passed by in a flash this year. Usually I'm bored to tears...but I actually quite enjoyed this CNY, to my surprise. Apart from the obscene amount of good food, I had many great laughs and conversations with my extended family members. 2 separate conversations with 2 different cousins even led to the subject of Christianity. Wow! Gave me a chance to invite my cousin to church. Who knew that me working in church would become such an interesting topic? haha! Awesome.

My aunt and cousins from Sabah are in town again. It amazes me how much they can shop and eat. haha! I was watching Inkheart at the cinema with them, and it suddenly hit me, "its actually so fun hanging out with family!" Then I got the warm n fuzzies. :)

One Story

This is an excerpt from the new book I'm reading now by Donald Miller, "Through Painted Deserts- Light, God and Beauty on the Open Road." His writing is at once bold, spirited and poetic. This passage in particular, seized my restless heart.

I wonder what's around the bend....

===================================================================
"My prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God.

We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?

It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.

I want to repeat one word for you:
Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."
- Donald Miller, 'Through Painted Deserts- Light, God, and Beauty on the Open Road'

"Always Be My Baby"

I was at Dawnie's place this evening, practising KT Tunstall's "Healer" and selecting other songs for our acousticky band with Nigel Old Soul, when I found David Cook's "Always Be My Baby" on her Macbook. It's not a new song but I never had the mp3! I really love this song lah! For a couple of reasons...

1) It's infectiously catchy and fun to sing
2) It's so romantic. BUT not a good song for a wedding, cos its about a girl leaving. haha!
3) It reminds me of the time when the song was released by Mariah(around 1995), and I was holidaying in beautiful Hawaii! :) Ahhh...the lovely memories.

"Tune My Heart To Sing Thy Praise"

Joining the Dots....

I Muse, I Write, I Sing...

It's a great thing when you can marry your passions with your art. That's what I've been feeling all week. Like God is showing me how He's joining the dots together. :)

I feel it when I'm anchoring an editorial meeting for the Missions Newsletter, and brainstorming ideas for the publicity of food/clothing drives...when I'm doing research at the Esplanade library on documentary authorship....when I'm cracking my brains to write a meaningful article on child sponsorship.....when I'm thinking of ideas to inspire a choir to grow in passion and Godly authority. I'm blessed to be able to release my creativity into a meaningful cause, and to be in a position of influence.

What's not so great? Dealing with the reality that not everyone is as passionate or ready to run with the things that I care immensely about. Well actually, its more of dealing with my own impatience and my dislike of structure and timelines. But of course, I can't have everything as I want it to be. I'm learning that everyone is on their own journey as well. I just wish they'd get there faster. haha!

On a totally unrelated note....I don't understand why technology is breaking down on me all at once. Recently my fossil watch died on me....and then my handphone started to act up. I got both replaced, and NOW....my external hdd is getting dangerously temparemental (and I have to back-up the back-up! argh!), my hairdryer fried and died (literally), and the worst is this.....Went, my trusty iPod, needs to be sent for repair for unresponsive buttons. :(

I'm really not rich enough for this...

Boo Fwen @ RiverLife

Look who popped by for a surprise visit today!! Danny, my Boo Fwen! :) I was focussed intently on my comp screen when I heard someone tap on the glass window pane beside me. I think I must have dropped my jaw for at least 10 secs when I saw Danny. haha! Turns out he met Andrea for lunch nearby. Think they both had a good laugh at my shocked reaction.

It was a really pleasant surprise and a very fruitful time too! We actually pulled together a wedding gig for next week in like 10 mins! This guy ah...always rope me in for last min gig. haha!

Behind the Scenes with an Author....

I read Kem Meyer's blog quite frequently for ideas as she's the Communications Director of Granger Community Church. And today, she had a funny little post with what she calls her "little worthless insight on what happens on her writing days."

This excerpt sounds uncannily like my work days at home (but my mum prefers to call it "wasting electricity at home.")

============================================================
Vocabulary I make up words when I'm locked in a room by myself.

• Isolativity: Combination of lonely isolation and productivity. The up and downside of writing.
• Manuscrap: Combination of manuscript and crap. Potential outcome without productive days and an outsider's perspective of my work

Exercise. I'm failing miserably. It looks like this:

• • Walk from my desk to the coffee pot, and return.
  • Walk from my desk to the bathroom and return.
  • Walk from my desk to the chocolate stash and return.
    
  
  

Obama Fever

I joined in the post-election fun and got myself Obamicized on Paste Magazine!

Vote for Michelle as the President of the "Most Siao On" Society. haha! I shall get Ricky Weeren to conduct the invocation, afterall, he IS the President of the "Act Holy" Society. haha! Dawnie you can sing with Arun the Guru at my Inauguration ok? haha! Abi you can read some really random poem.

"The time has come....for change, for a new era of responsibility!"

Repose

1) Yesterday was quite a nerve-wrecking day as I conducted the choir for the very first time in my entire life. I screwed up the Thur rehearsal big time, and I got so super emo and discouraged from that experience. BUT God really pulled me through the actual services, and they went pretty well. Phew! So in the end, I'm glad I got pushed to the edge.....I experienced first-hand how God could use me in spite of my inadequacies. And I've grown so much from it.

I'm amazed by how much the choir has improved over the last few months, and seeing the sea of radiant, worshipful faces before me really moved my heart. God was worshipped that day! :) It was really good to connect deeper with different members of the choir too.

2) After running on adrenalin the whole of Sun, I crashed out and woke up at 9.30am (guess the retreat in Malacca screwed with my nocturnal ways).

3) I went to trade-in my temperamental W660i phone, for the Sony Ericsson C905 kick-ass camera phone (8mp baby!). It was on special offer, and I thought $398 was a pretty gd price for a new handphone AND point-and-shoot camera. Dawnie is happy cos I won't have to rely on her camera anymore (which is also 8mp). They actually sell tripods for this phone model! Amazing.

4) I headed to "Toast" cafe at a secluded corner of Taka, to enjoy a chix casear sandwich, mocha, and to read my Keith Green book. It felt REALLY good to have that pocket of space to be still. I was trying not to cry while reading the book in the cafe. haha!

5) I moved on to Borders to source for books on screen-writing, documentary filming, and to redeem a $10 voucher. I used it on Chris Tomlin's "Live at Austin Music Hall" album, which is absolutely fabulous. Only Chris can SOUND cute on his albums. haha!

6) I got a really hilarious phone call from Dawnie which made me laugh out loud in the middle of Orchard Road.

7) When I got home, I tried to get acquainted with my new phone. After an initial frustrating phase, I think we're both getting along better now. Still, Muffin you can help me look out for that bf we talked about. Remember he must:
- be able to help me with techy stuff
- be able to pour drinks for me without spilling
- be able to sing/play an instrument, or better still lead worship
- be willing to travel to Australia with me frequently
- accept and hopefully agree that Joel is always #1
- Oh...and must like dogs! haha!

8) All in all, it was a pretty fruitful day. It feels surprisingly good to be able to rest on Mon (my new off day) after being bz in church on Suns. :)

Girls' Nite Out

Had a lovely reunion with the gals-Berno, Erica and Abi, at Sizzler's Suntec last nite. I really missed hanging out with them and it's always great fun with this crazy and super random bunch. Haha! I'm learning that normal pple are NOT random, we are actually the weird ones! But we're just so used to each other's randomness. Anyway, it's so great to be totally at ease with this bunch.

Abi being super animated as usual. And what's that in front of us? A rack of pork ribs. Eeee! (It was Erica's)

Berno enjoying her veggies and garlic mooshrooms

I was holding my plate and hanging around the ice-cream bar, in a slightly dubious fashion. Just before I was about to do the deed, Abi saw me, read my mind, and yelled from across the bar, "NO!! You are NOT putting rainbow sprinkles on your fruits!" HAHA! It was freaking hilarious. She knows my weird tendency to mix and experiment with diff food types (e.g wafers in Tom Yam soup/ Pandan cake with grass jelly) Anyway...I DID IT! And the peaches tasted great with the rainbow sprinkles! Very weird meh? At least they're both sweet.

Berno actually got a whole cup of sprinkles and choc chips for me. Awww! :) And Erica said I looked like a happy kid sprinkling them on my ice-cream. haha! If you haven't realized by now, rainbow sprinkles are one of my fav food groups! :) They look so cheerful.

Garlic Mushroom Ice-cream cone?? Hmmm....don't worry, Abi didn't actually eat it like that.

Oh yes, Erica said we were all supposed to turn up in long skirts for this dinner. Why? Cos she had a new skirt, and wanted an excuse to wear it. (Note to self: The recent windy weather can make wearing long skirts a pretty precarious affair) Abi is hiding behind, cos she thought Erica was joking and turned up in...

SHORTS!!! haha! Berno looks like she's going to attend a wedding! heh!

And Steph, Abi's younger sis, came down to join us at the end. :) We're all going to watch "The Soloist" in Feb! A muso movie starring Robert Downey Jr and Jamie Foxx. Its based on a true story abt a journalist who discovers a former classical music prodigy, playing his violin on the streets of L.A. As the journalist helps the homeless man find his way back, a unique, life-changing friendship is forged. The trailer looks awesome, and I think the movie will be pretty good cos its directed by Joe Wright, who also directed "Pride & Prejudice" and "Atonement." Yayness! :)

"Heal Over"

These days I find myself being drawn back to this song by KT Tunstall that Erica introduced to me. Guess it resonates deeply with how I've been feeling of late. And its hard for most people to understand....although I know a few rare souls ard me do. I find some comfort in that. Sigh.

Anyway, this arrangement of the song with lush strings captured my attention. (It's got the Brooke Fraser, "Give Me Jesus" vibe.) Not sure of the pseudo-rock transition it goes into mid-way of the song though. If you want the full acoustic (read more intimate) version of the song, you can let me know, and I'll email you.

Heal Over (by KT Tunstall)
==========================
It isn't very difficult to see why
You are the way you are
Doesn't take a genius to realise
That sometimes life is hard
It's gonna take time
But you'll just have to wait
You're gonna be fine
But in the meantime

Chorus:
Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away
Come a little nearer baby
Coz you'll heal over
Heal over
Heal over someday

And I don't wanna hear you tell yourself
That these feelings are in the past
You know it doesn't mean they're off the shelf
Because pain's built to last
Everybody sails alone
But we can travel side by side
Even if you fail
You know that no one really minds
Come over here lady

Don't hold on but don't let go
I know it's so hard
You've got to try to trust yourself
I know it's so hard, so hard

Restless

"What if I leave? What if I leave?"- Rachael Yamagata

Home

I just got back from a staff retreat in Malacca, and a challenging choir/band rehearsal which took place immediately after I got back to S'pore.

1) I'm incredibly glad to be home.

2) Eating pig's ears (with visible hair) in satay steamboat thingy does NOT rock. Throw in cockles, pig's intestines and other questionable food items, and you get a pretty evil stew. :(

3) Starbucks is always a winner wherever you travel.

4) I'm very happy with my new stash of cheap shoes. (S$16 a pair)

5) Talking to a fellow colleague about her 5 years of study in California is triggering my wanderlust again. So it's not just me who is sensing that S'pore's lifestyle and landscape can sometimes be bad for the soul. On a related note, I hear Jason is having a wonderful time in Melbourne so far, and am glad for him.

6) I'm amused by my fwens who sms me random song lyrics, and expect me to continue the song from wherever they left off.

7) I got my Jason Mraz concert tix, and am set to go! :) *Live high, live mighty, live righteously!*

8) I'm so tired. I'm going to crash out.

"Let me dream for you...."

This song, "I believe in you," by Bethany Dillon really touched my heart. I especially love the words of the chorus. You can take a take a listen to it here. (ignore the cheesy video. I couldn't find a video of Bethany performing it live)

I Believe In You (by Bethany Dillon)
=====================================
When there's nothing to believe in, I belive in you
Forget the past and let my hand in yours be the proof
Though the strong could be my company, you're the one I choose
So remember, I believe in you

I know it feels like every eye is watching you
Waiting for you to fall, expecting you to lose
But I see victory, so all you have to do
Is remember, I believe in you

Chorus:
I believe, even when I see you crying
I believe, let me dream for you
When nothing comes from trying
Remember, I believe in you

There will come a day when love will lift you out of here
There will come a day when love will bring the truth
There will come a day when love will free you from your fear
And you'll remember, I believe in you

New Wallpaper! :)

I'm soooooooo pleased with my new wallpaper. :) Now I smile each time I start up my Mac. haha! If you can't tell....that's Joel playing his guitar and lifting his hand in worship. I got the pic off the cover of the Hillsong International Leadership College Prospectus. What a gorgeously designed cover right? It so captures what Hillsong College is all about. And yes, I still really wanna go.

The Journey Thus Far...

I'm so glad to have a short breather now in the midst of my jam-packed week. It's my first week as a full-time church worker....and as it is, I'm learning so much from the leadership, and being stretched like never before.

By the middle of the week, I think I was a bit stunned at the new projects thrown on my plate. It's definitely going to be a year where we have to go places we've never gone before. It's not comfortable, it's a bit stressful and tiring, but at least we're gonna grow and the ride isn't gonna be mundane. Yeah, so thank God for that! And I remember Sarah, my director, telling me, "Don't be afraid of making mistakes." Wow! What an amazingly refreshing tip coming from a leader. Well, I'm probably gonna make quite a few mistakes along the way...but I'm learning to laugh it off and then try again. :)

Am also grateful to God for bringing together fellow musos who have a love for acoustic music! (Yeah, Acoustikers United!!) :) I've found my musical soul mates in Dawnie and Nigel. haha! Can't wait to get together properly to jam and do some recordings. Nigel actually did a beautiful acoustic recording of "None But Jesus" this week...and he used his fish food as the shaker, cos his real shaker got stolen in hall. HAHA! But it sounded pretty alrite in the recording.

Oooh! And my condenser mike arrived in gd time! Jeremy bought it back from China, only $50 for professional quality. It's a steal. :)

"Yearn"

Bethany Dillon singing Shane and Shane's "Yearn," one of my fav songs by them. No wonder Shane married Bethany. haha! Her vocals are absolutely beautiful on this number.

The Stand

Lately, I've been getting backaches cos of more intensive work on the Macbook. And as Dawnie says, "One of the big reasons for neck and shoulder aches is having to bend our heads downwards to see the laptop/notebook screen. The screen should always be at eye level so that you don't have to strain your neck/shoulders unnecessarily." So in the name of good health, I went out and got myself one of those inclined laptop stands from Challenger. Afterall, Dawnie got one too and it seems to work pretty well for her.

Well....stupid Michelle actually BROKE the laptop stand while attempting to figure out how the whole plasticky contraption worked (no instructions included). Brilliant stuff. So now the height is no longer adjustable (it supposedly has 6 gears.) BUT luckily for her, she only needs the laptop stand to be at its minimum height cos she's not very tall.

Ok so just when she thought all things were working out afterall, she started typing from her laptop stand, and realized that while her backache woes have been relieved, her wrists are starting to ache cos of the curved base of the laptop stand, that protrudes out and holds the Macbook in place. AHHHHH!!!

Somemore, the silly thing didn't turn out to be black as shown on the box. BLEAHH!
Dawnie: what brand was your stand, and where did you get it from?? Let me know k?

Ice Cream Delight with The Fongs

Yesterday, I had a different sort of Sunday as I was on leave, so took the opportunity to visit Glenn's church, St James Church, at Holland V. (The Anglicans mocked the RiverLifer who didn't know what to do during their Holy Communion.) After svce, I met up with The Fongs for lunch. It was quite a refreshing change, as I got to catch up with Winnie, play with the kids whom I've not seen for some time, and fiddle with expensive Winnie's SLR. :p

Liza and me having dessert.

Jessi's mouth dripping with Bubblegum blue ice-cream. haha!

Tania, the youngest, has grown so much now!

The girls are proud of their freaky blue tongues!

Tania wants in on the fun, and insisted that I take a pic of her pink tongue! (she had strawberry ice-cream)

Liza is obviously better at this game than me. haha!

Smiley faces with ice-cream treats!

"Your Love Broke Through"

Today's my last day of leave before I officially begin a new season as a full-time staff worker at RiverLife Church. To be honest, I've been wrestling with some struggles about stepping into this new role- especially with regards to adjusting to a totally different lifestyle and level of ministry commitment. Part of me recognises that I'm incredibly blessed to be working in such a vibrant church, and yet, part of me is still asking "is it gonna be worth it? giving up so much of yourself?"

I guess those questions surfaced the deep, underlying issues within me that God had to dig up and deal with. And during this short break, He's surprised me by revealing several issues to me in the most mundane moments (often when I'm lying on my bed reading a book or watching 24, trying to avoid any confrontation with Him at all. haha!).

At the start of my Dec break, I was feeling really tired, and simply at the end of myself. I just didn't know how to give anymore. And I stubbornly didn't want to give anymore. Trouble was, I didn't like feeling that way. I didn't like who I was becoming. I didn't really know why I was in this state, and it was very frustrating.

As God spoke, He made me see that
- I badly need to recuperate from running so long and hard in BMI.
- I still need healing from past relationships, ministry and work experiences where I've given so much of myself, and yet, gotten burnt at the end.
- I need to rediscover my beauty in the Lord.
- I need to remember that I can never outgive the Giver.
- It's high time to start carving out "creative time," and to start working on my craft seriously to be a good steward of the talents He's given me.

God gently sought me out, even when I was trying to escape. Like Keith Green, I would much rather be hiding under my keyboard. But His love broke through, and prompted me to unburden my heart before Him. He ministered deeply to me in those quiet moments in my room. As I worshipped Him on my keyboard. I could feel my teardrops falling on my keys and fingers...and it was a queer but almost definitive moment. I want to be the Psalmist who is totally surrendered and broken before Him. I'm laying down the desires of my heart, my gifts, my time, my fears, my doubts unto Him.

After God has washed away my bitterness, poured His heart into mine, and renewed my vision, I feel more ready to cross over into this new season. I just need to constantly look towards the Rock who is higher than I.

This song has been on my iPod for several nights, and articulates all that I'm praying for right now.

SURRENDER

by Jeremy Camp

Purify this tainted soul

I'm tired of living life a fool
Soften up this hardened clay
To be a servant, this I pray
A reflection of You, I long to be
So Your kingdom I will seek

I surrender to Your throne
Oh, I surrender to Your throne
I will make my heart Your home
Oh, I surrender to Your throne

I've taken things I thought my own
Only to reap what I've sown
You've given back the years I fought
Unending love and grace You've brought
Eternal hope and peace You bring
And forever unto You I will sing

Forever unto You I will sing

Worship & Music Min Thanksgiving Dinner 2008

The relaxing view from the RiverLife Roof Terrace, where we held our Thanksgiving Dinner in Dec 2008.

I love this pic...Nigel creatively uses Arun as a tripod!

Greenies! So cute how so many came dressed in festive colours. :)

Andie enjoying the food from Breeks.

Jem definitely enjoying the turkey that Jerome is diligently carving! haha!

We had a crazy time of Bogus Awards after dinner....Seng and Jem tied for "Best Hairdo Award"...erm, for not having any hairdo ironically. haha!

Noisy cheers and laughter all round! :)

Woh-oh-oh!! :)

My 2 fwens, Glenn and Joel, at Hillsong Conference 2006! Glenn wanted to annoy me by posting this pic of him with Joel (my fav worship leader/song-writer/bassist/preacher/revolutionist in the world!) on his blog. But I actually got pretty excited about the idea, and requested he send me the pic so I could splash it on my blog instead. Guess he wasn't expecting that reaction. haha!

"Like You Do"

(Photo Credit: Abigail Chen)

"If it takes a lifetime to know You

A lifetime I'm willing to spend
Cos only You can disarm me
and search me and know who I really am
Cos my heart is pierced
and my soul is parched
and nothing here can ever play the part
of loving me endlessly, like You do

Chorus:
Only You can saturate me
Envelope me and hold me like You do
Cos everything I know
Falls down to You"
- 'Like You Do' by Alarice

Possibilities

Danny my fwen called me on Sun afternoon, and pulled together a totally last min New Year's Eve gig at the S'pore Flyer that brought together many close frens (most of whom were my dear ex-colleagues in BMI). We only had 1 rehearsal hours before the actual gig! And the 2 days leading up to the gig was a mad rush with preparations keeping me and Danny up till 5am in the morning!

This was the final set list:
======================
1) Everlasting God (Linc Brewster version)
2) Fields of Grace (Big Daddy Weave version)
3) You are the One (Linc Brewster)
4) If you didn't love me (Corrinne May)
5) I belong ((Dawn Wong)
6) Made to worship (Chris Tomlin)
7) You are good (Israel Houghton)
8) Dreamer (Bethany Dillon)
9) Who am I (Casting Crowns)
10) Let the praises ring (Linc Brewster)

Can't believe we pulled it off, but well, Danny didn't call this bunch the "Kilat Band" (malay for skilled) for nothing. Yeah, we were blessed with AMAZING musos! :) The sound was quite sucky at the 2 venues, and we weren't exactly technically polished...but I think we all had a blast. And what better way to step into 2009, than by worshipping God and creating awesome music with your close frens? :)

Its interesting how events unfolded, and this rare opportunity to play praise & worship/CCM songs openly in public landed in our laps. It also reunited old friends, brought together new ones, and created exciting and beautiful musical partnerships. :) I'm very thrilled about the possibilities and journey(s) ahead. :)

As we cross over into 2009...I'm gleaning a few precious lessons- to remember that He is the God of the seasons, and that I need to let go.....and at the same time, allow Him to prepare and excite my heart with new possibilities. :)

And since we're talking about possibilities, allow me to leave you with a hopeful message for the new year with a song from our dear Corrinne May. :) Looking ahead with you my frens....

"You can be a witness You can be a prophet
You can make the whole world believe
Break the strongest fortress, Change the way the world thinks
You can build a bridge where foes can meet
Hope for the future
Shout it, don't whisper, dreams are what you make them to be
There is hope in every heartbeat
Tiny as it seems
You're a beautiful seed"
- 'Beautiful Seed' by Corrinne May

Quite a surreal experience, singing praise & worship songs in a pub!

Introducing the Kilat Band- Danny on lead vox and acoustic guit, Andrea on keys, Reg on bass, Daniel Wilson on electric guit, Oliver on drums, Dawn and myself on lead/backing vox.

This is what they were doing mid-way through our set. During countdown time, Dawnie, Marcus and Erica ran out to catch the fireworks!

Find the joy in your life. :)

Dawnie decided to come back in to get ready for her song. haha!

Singing Corrinne May's "If you didn't love" with Dawnie and Danny on back-up vocals.

2nd set at the Greek Amphitheatre. Can't believe we had the opportunity to glorify God by singing songs of love, hope and truth in such a public place. And the audience was like a snapshot of S'pore society with a multi-racial/religious mix. I think even if we touched just one soul with our music, that would have made it all worth it. Reminded me of how Hillsong celebrated their anniversary by holding a worship concert at Darling Harbour. :)

Marcus and Erica, our groupies cum hardworking roadies having a gelato break! Thanks fwens for your support!! :)

It was great fun singing with Dawnie on the 3 songs we did together- Dawn's original song, "I Belong," Bethany Dillon's "Dreamer" and Corrinne May's "If you didn't love me".

The infamous Flyer....and no, its still not moving. haha!

The lights make the backdrop look like some UFO.

Ericaaaaaa my fwenny!

The Kilat Band!
L-R: Oliver, Danny, Daniel Wilson, Reg, Andrea, me, Dawnie

View the rest of the photos here