It's one of those horrid days...when you just feel like utter crap, but you know you've gotta pull yourself together. And somehow, intuitively, you know that it's going to turn out to be a bad day....and true enough it is (some of you might argue that is because i start off with that mindset...but oh well, despite efforts to perk myself up, it still went downhill).
I felt like I lost faith in a friend tdy...this person says one thing, and does another. It's not the first time, and I'm just honestly sick of it. Why can't pple mean what they say, and stick to it? I'm disappointed...again.
Finally, it's totally weird, but I miss someone whom I hardly know. Some of you know this person whom I've been referring to as "Poofy". haha! It's like someone allowed me to take a tiny bite into a really yummy, divine chocolate praline (mebbe one of those heavenly $2 a piece ones from "Sins")....and then took it away, refusing to let me savour the rest of it. So 'neh neh' right? Anywayz, I haven't been able to see Poofy since we last met....and I dunno when we will again. I just wanna get a chance to talk to Poofy again. It felt really....'familiar', in a cosy way....and that is truly rare these days, tt kind of connection. I'm not even talking abt it in a 'romantic way'...that kind of connection is rare even among friends these days. Sighz.
I'm just gonna keep Paula Cole's song, "Free" (lyrics listed in an earlier entry, if you're curious)on repeat mode on my CD player tonight.It's just perfect for my mood right now. Desmond commented that the lyrics are very "Lost in translation" (as in the movie). How true....being lonely in the city, a crowd, being lonely beside a friend. That great, poignant yearning for someone to truly understand. You feel caged up in so many ways, and all you wanna do is to break free, and fly away.
"Little super hero girl,save me.....from myself" - Corrinne May-
Monday, May 16, 2005
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Thank you! :)
I just ended my series of gigs at Esplanade, and I really wanna say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who came down to support me.... and for sitting through the delay and the rain.:) I'm truly touched and encouraged.
I was very much surprised to realize that the biggest lesson at the end of this experience, was not abt the music, or my increased confidence etc....but really abt the bonds of friendship. At the end of the day, that was what it all boiled down to.
After going through weeks and weeks of arduous, sometimes frustrating hrs of rehearsals, de-briefs, criticisms of each other skills, my band members emerged not with negative feelings against each other.....but with new, warm, fuzzy feelings of affection for each other. In fact, it seems hard to stay angry at each other even when we make major screw-ups....now that new bonds of friendships have been forged. :) I think this gig was particularly enjoyable cos we knew all the other bands in the line-up....and we were all fans of each other's music.
I was quite amazed at the turn-out from my friends too for both nights of the gig. What an awesome, solid show of support you guys gave!! :)I think it really shows how you can count on your friends. haha! Friendships with old friends were re-kindled.....while friendships with new ones were made as well.
Finally, I think I've made a break-through with my family as well. After watching the performance last nite, they finally seem convinced that my job is worth doing, and they gave rare articulations of pride in seeing me up there. Believe me, i was quite stunned and emotional to hear them say that.
It's been a surreal experience performing at Esplanade....truly a dream come true. I remember telling God one day...not long after the Corrinne May performance there, how I wished i had the chance to perform there. A few days later, Andrea my colleague, offered us a few slots there. Providence or what???
Still, I guess along the way....i kinda forgot how God made a way for me....and I got too busy with preparations and rehearsals. During the wk before our performance....i got reminded once again of how HE was the one who opened the door for us.
These verses really helped me in realizing how He is my strength and tower at ALL times.
"My soul follows close behind You
Your right hand upholds me." -Psalm 63:3-
"In your arms, i finally find the strength to believe in me again"
- Corrinne May "Safe in a crazy world"-
All in all, it's been an awesome experience...and I'm glad all of you cld share it with me. :) I've grown and learnt so much from it! I know everyone in my band made mistakes during the gig (n i tend to be very harsh on myself when i do commit mistakes)...but I'm not gonna beat myself/ us up over it....not anymore. :) Cos we hv come away so much richer from that experience.
I'm looking fwd to more exciting things to come...that this is just the first step God has paved for us. :)
I was very much surprised to realize that the biggest lesson at the end of this experience, was not abt the music, or my increased confidence etc....but really abt the bonds of friendship. At the end of the day, that was what it all boiled down to.
After going through weeks and weeks of arduous, sometimes frustrating hrs of rehearsals, de-briefs, criticisms of each other skills, my band members emerged not with negative feelings against each other.....but with new, warm, fuzzy feelings of affection for each other. In fact, it seems hard to stay angry at each other even when we make major screw-ups....now that new bonds of friendships have been forged. :) I think this gig was particularly enjoyable cos we knew all the other bands in the line-up....and we were all fans of each other's music.
I was quite amazed at the turn-out from my friends too for both nights of the gig. What an awesome, solid show of support you guys gave!! :)I think it really shows how you can count on your friends. haha! Friendships with old friends were re-kindled.....while friendships with new ones were made as well.
Finally, I think I've made a break-through with my family as well. After watching the performance last nite, they finally seem convinced that my job is worth doing, and they gave rare articulations of pride in seeing me up there. Believe me, i was quite stunned and emotional to hear them say that.
It's been a surreal experience performing at Esplanade....truly a dream come true. I remember telling God one day...not long after the Corrinne May performance there, how I wished i had the chance to perform there. A few days later, Andrea my colleague, offered us a few slots there. Providence or what???
Still, I guess along the way....i kinda forgot how God made a way for me....and I got too busy with preparations and rehearsals. During the wk before our performance....i got reminded once again of how HE was the one who opened the door for us.
These verses really helped me in realizing how He is my strength and tower at ALL times.
"My soul follows close behind You
Your right hand upholds me." -Psalm 63:3-
"In your arms, i finally find the strength to believe in me again"
- Corrinne May "Safe in a crazy world"-
All in all, it's been an awesome experience...and I'm glad all of you cld share it with me. :) I've grown and learnt so much from it! I know everyone in my band made mistakes during the gig (n i tend to be very harsh on myself when i do commit mistakes)...but I'm not gonna beat myself/ us up over it....not anymore. :) Cos we hv come away so much richer from that experience.
I'm looking fwd to more exciting things to come...that this is just the first step God has paved for us. :)
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