Strength like no other

"You are faithful....Your joy is my strength"

To be honest, I never fully grasped the meaning of that well-known verse from Nehemiah 8:10....
But I THINK I'm starting to.
When I count my life as forfeit for the Lord, when I choose to give this life away...
(Rather than living it for myself...)
I receive the greatest joy that can only come from serving His heart.
And when I see the fruits of my labour in the lives transformed,
when I receive His delight upon me,
that gives me inspiration and strength to persevere on in the journey ahead. :)

"You are my strength
strength like no other
strength like no other
reaches to me."

"In Your freedom I will live, I offer devotion..."

[song lyrics from the new Hillsong album "Saviour King"]

How do you know that you're a true blue member/affiliate of the BMI family??

Some members of the BMI family...it's grown so much bigger now! We need to take a more recent photo.

A few tell-tale signs:
==================
1) You refer to yourself in 3rd person. eg. "Michelle go home!" or "Jaymee is hungry" etc.
2) You start using the word 'FWEN' a whole lot...and it gives you the *WAFFs* (warm n fuzzy feelings) [footnote on FWENs below]
3) When you have conversations with fwens, you have the tendency to make many random statements.
4) You're addicted to Tom Yum Ramen/Ban Mian
5) You're familiar with New Harbour Cafe (one of the eateries that we patronise)
6) You're fond of playing games like Taboo
7) You're even more fond of playing pranks!
8) You're a fwen of MUMBLE, and you've probably wished him Happy Birthday and signed on his card.
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On 'Fwens':
=============
There's a hierachy going on for sure.

1) Fwen (EXTREMELY dear friend...who gives u the *Waffs*. :))
2) Fren (a pretty gd friend)
3) Friend ('nuff said)
4) Acquaintance
5) "Excuse-me-do-I-know-you?"

Little kingdom

A series of quotes by Louisa May Alcott, the author of "Little Women" (which I adore by the way. Of course we hated it when we studied it in Sec sch...but reading it now is completely different I assure you.) I find great comfort in the words of these poets, writers, musicians....they remind me that I'm not alone in my idealism, chaotic inner world, and rich, intense emotions.

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"Stay is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary."

"A little kingdom I possess, where thoughts and feelings dwell; And very hard the task I find of governing it well."

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead."

Listen to the Bard

"I shall the effect of this good lesson
keeps as watchman to my heart."
- William Shakespeare

Aly

Aly and I at Andrea's wedding, where she was the flower-girl, and I was the bridesmaid.

This is Alysson. :) She is 8 years old, and my new msn contact. Yeah, she requested to add me on msn which made me so amused. She's actually Eugene's daughter, whom I used to gig with. Aly is the sweetest little girl...very bright (topping her cohort in sch) and talented too (she dances ballet and plays drums). I've thoroughly enjoyed our little conversations over msn. We talked about how we both like doggies...and how when we grow up, we'll both get our own doggies. :)

She cheered me up. And then it was 10.30pm and Aly said "It's time for me to go to bed! :)"
It tickled me as it was a first of sorts, hearing that line over msn.

Separation Anxiety

I'm miserable...and having a MAJOR case of separation anxiety/ withdrawal symptoms.
My Berno is on leave to prepare for her wedding this weekend. I will not be seeing her in the office for 3 whole weeks.
I stared at her empty cubicle opposite me today.
Nobody to whine, make weird noises...and randomly shout "HA!" with.
We've smsed each other...and spoke on the phone today.....but it's just not the same. :(

I miss my fweeennn!!! *sniffles*
I don't function well without my Berno. Ehhhhhh!!
(Yes, I know you think I'm being ridiculously childish...but I get very attached to my fwens.)


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An msn conversation with evil Jordan:
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*Eowyn** (Separation Anxiety) says: i miss Bernice
walk this way says: she hasn't been ard?
**Eowyn** (Separation Anxiety) says: she's on leave from tdy
walk this way says: hav u entertained the thot that one day God might call her to work somewhere else?
**Eowyn** (Separation Anxiety) says: cannot! CANNOT
why are u being evil n saying such things?
**Eowyn** (Separation Anxiety) says:
take it back!!!!
**Eowyn** (Separation Anxiety) says:
OMG. u're scaring me
walk this way says: it is jus a thot!!
**Eowyn** (Separation Anxiety) says: WHY Are u BEING SO MEAN?????
take it bk!!!! my system just suffered a shock
walk this way says:
okok! i take it back. In Jesus' name, it won't happen! AMEN
**Eowyn** (Separation Anxiety) says:
gd! u cannot say such bad things.
walk this way says: im sorry! i was jus curious..
**Eowyn** (Separation Anxiety) says:
its not going to happen ok! we're gonna be together forever
walk this way says:
yes yes.. you will! stop freaking out! i'm sorry ok. it was jus a casual qn.. it won't happen ok. God noes ur heart's desires. He noes how impt Bernice is to u..

Anthem??

I'd Like To Teach the World To Sing
(In Perfect Harmony)
The New Seekers

"I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow-white turtle doves

I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms and keep it company
I'd like to see the world for once
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills "Ah, peace throughout the land""

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I never knew those were the full lyrics to this song. It's so freaking lame and trippy! haha!
Thanks May for tt tidbit. Anyway here's the National Lampoon parody. I love it! Teehee!

"I'd like to give the world a hug / and tell it jokes and stuff, / then pull its pants down to its knees / and chase it through the rough."

Waiting...

Faithful (by Brooke Fraser)
========================
There's distance in the air
And I cannot make it leave
I wave my arms `round about me
And blow with all my might

I cannot sense you close
Though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near
Is what I long for

CHORUS
When I can't feel you
I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you
I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you
More than I want to live another day
And as I wait for you
Maybe I'm made more faithful

Mumble's wedding invitation

Look who received an invitation to Bernice's wedding next weekend.....

Doesn't he look pleased about it?

And it's a proper invitation mind you. I'm amazed....

Apparently, he has rsvp-ed to Berno already. And he says he's very excited to be sitting next to me for the wedding. Great....now I'll have to find a bag elegant and yet big enough to stuff him in. Bernice is very insistent that I bring him along too. Oh mannn....everyone is so going to think I'm insane lah. Sigh...at least I don't have to worry about getting Mumble a suit.

"Saviour King"

Pammy says that the new Hillsong album "Saviour King" will be released in Sydney this coming week. I can't wait!!!!!!! It'll be released here much later in July I think. We got this promotional flyer from Integrity in the office today. And Marcus saw the crazed look in my eyes....and before I could even say anything, he said something like "Don't be crazy Michelle!"
Cos he knew that I was entertaining thoughts of asking Pam to buy a copy from Sydney, since she's flying back next tues. haha! My colleagues know me well.

Aiyahhh, I can't wait!!!!!!! I've heard a preview of the songs, and they're soooo good lor. Watch it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9s4uHuuQn4&mode=related&search=

How to annoy guys

The one we all love and adore for her gorgeous voice, and big heart!

Glenn (the one who introduced us all to Brooke Fraser): I want to marry Brooke!
Marcus: I want to marry Brooke!
Glenn: GET IN LINE!!! BEHIND ME!!!
Mich: I want to marry Brooke too!!
Glenn and Marcus: GET OUT OF THE LINE!!!
Marcus: Yeah, give us guys a chance!
Mich: Teehee! (I just love being out of point)

O Lead me...

Lord remind me daily....
that I don't have to know all the answers,
to trust and follow You.

"La La La" :)

It's been a siong week at work, but a good one. :) I cleared more work than I expected...woohoo! Hearing the students' song presentations was really so ministering to me as well. I'm just so glad and encouraged that they're learning to express their songs sincerely from the heart, rather than just work on impressive vocal gymnastics.

One Filipino student sang "I will run to You".....and she started out as a rather shy, awkward student in the beginning of term. We know that she's been having a rough time in her personal life, and some difficulties hitting her high notes too technically. But as the weeks passed, she started to blossom and come out of her shell. When she sang this week, she just blew me away with her beautiful, heartfelt delivery of the song. The words really spoke to my heart:

"And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power,
But by the Spirit of God.
Yes, I will run the race,
Till I see Your face
O let me live in the glory of Your grace."

I was so touched after that, I just wanted to hug her and thank her for ministering to me! This batch of students is so special. Their hearts really shone through. I've been immensely blessed by them.

I've also been learning to pray more, and to 'rest in the One who loves me best'. :)

Other than that, I'm just really enjoying the fellowship, the daily madness and fun that takes place in the BMI office. We had a Tom Yum Ban Mian/Ramen party (the boss treated us to it. Or rather was coerced into it by the brilliant Jaymee! haha!). 8 packs of Tom Yum really made the office smell like Thailand. Students could smell it from outside. haha! And then today, our dear Dorcas cooked Black Pepper Chicken Pasta for us (and the other boss treated us to that! wah! we've been so blessed this week). Because I ordered 'kid's size' I also got an extra pack of Tom n Jerry's potato chips! Yay!! :) It's like Happy Meal lor. hehe! Before we all went home just now, we gathered around Berno at the keyboard to sing together. So cozy and fun! :)

Tmrw I'll be hanging out at Timbre with the BMI folks as well...to celebrate the end of Jordan's exams. It'll be Marcus' first time there too, and he says he's very hyped about it. haha! Initially, Jaymee made a reservation for 4....but soon, the group started to explode as more people joined in. And now, she has to ask for a table for 12. Amazing!

Here are some funny soundbites from the week that's passed:

On my nocturnal habits:
=================
Berno: I couldn't sleep last night, so I went online at 2am hoping to see you. But you weren't there!! So I thought "Even Michelle is sleeping!!!! Ohhhh!!" :(
(Yes, indeed...this whole week I've been trying to sleep earlier at 1 plus or 2am latest. It was part of my attempt to conserve energy, as I knew it was going to be a siong week for me. hehe!)

On my obsessive audiophile tendencies:
===============================
Jo: The new CDs are here!! (referring to the new Paradise Community Church album which i requested for, and the new Building 429 album- "Iris to Iris")
Mich: Yay!!! *super excited*
Jaymee and Marcus: *slowly unpack and sort through pile of new CDs*
Mich: *happily barges in, and excitedly grabs the whole stack of CDs from Jaymee's hands as she's taking too long.*
Jaymee: *shocked* HELLO!?!??!?!
Mich: Oops! haha! Sorry, couldn't wait.

"Empty me"

"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver."- Malachi 3:3

I think the lyrics of this song says it all....

"Empty me" (by Jeremy Camp)
=========================
Holy fire burn away
My desire for anything
That is not of you and is of me
I want more of you
And less of me

Empty me, empty me, fill me
With you, with you

Listen to the song at: http://jazzymoo.multiply.com/music/

The English Gentleman

Look who Danny brought back from London for me! :) He's my new fwen....my English Teddy. hee! And er 'John Lewis' is not his name please...that's the shop he came from. :p I've named him Giles. Those who used to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer should get it. haha!

English Teddy is a welcome addition to the Tasmanian Devil (from Tasmania), Siberian Husky (from Canada) and the other stuffed toys in my office cubicle. I usually get the other coaches to get me a stuffed toy when they travel you see. :)

What are we leaving behind?

"What God's Word declares as true prosperity will only come in response to a personal submission to the truth. God will not give you a Bentley as a reward. Bentleys are purchased by knowing how to make money. When God prospers you He will give you a piece of Himself. Nothing about God's nature is instant. It is line upon line, precept upon precept (Isaiah 28:10). God uses one generation to build upon another. It is also covenantal; which means it is providential more than it is miraculous."

"When you do not leave the next generation something to build on, that is a clue that their potential deterioration was not a concern to you.....Generational thinking means seeing great spiritual reform in terms of stages that will likely take longer than we would be in our prime to faciliate."
- 'Changing the Worldview of the Modern Church' by J. Konrad Hole

"If You want me to"

If You want me to (by Ginny Owens)

============================
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

No I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

I've probably posted this song many times.....but somehow I keep coming back to it.
If I ever had a soundtrack for my life, this song would definitely be the 1st track on it.
It's also a song that binds May, Rie and me together.....May stumbled upon it when she watched "Felicity," during our JC days, and introduced it to us. I still remember crying on my hotel bed in Langkawi as I listened to it.....that was around 2000 I think. Yupz, this song has seen me through many tough times.

I keep making the same ol' mistakes,
I keep straying away from Him, doubting Him.
But He's always there to to lift me up when I fall,
to pick up the pieces of my broken heart,
to fix my broken life.

I don't understand how One so beautiful,
could love me so passionately,
and be so utterly committed to the growth of my tragically flawed character.
But He is.

So yeah, I'll go through the fire, if He wants me to.

Rock my socks!

Thanks May for the corny pic! Loves it! :)

Glenn, for you my fweeeennn (as promised :p)!!! Cos you rock, and I rule!!! Woohoo!!
(Yes ok, we is quite sad! haha!)

"The Hand"

(by Ginny Owens)
=================
If not for the hand that leads us
We too would roam in the darkness
If not for the hand that heals us
We would live in pain

But still we keep our distance
Caught up in our false pretenses
Only by the hand have we been changed
Compelled by the gracious hand
that chose to change this life for us
Won't we choose to use our hands to give the world His love?

Corrinne May In Concert- "Beautiful Seed"

Yes folks, ticket sales start today, 6th June, Wed. Marcus, Jet and I have all secured our tix, and we're all sitting in the same row (Centre Block row P)! How brilliantly fun! :) Hope to see more of you guys there! I actually woke up (happily!) at 9am sharp to book my tix online since that's when internet sales open. Berno was very amused and said, "Only Corrinne May can get you to wake up at 9am!" How true! All for the love of music. Teehee!

Tickets will be available via Sistic both online at
http://www.sistic.com.sg/cms/events/index.html?content=1027
and at Sistic counters.

From the title of the concert, "Beautiful Seed", I think we can expect Corrinne to unravel most of the new songs from her latest album. Yay!!! Grab your tix soon if you want good seats....they're running out fast!

Give me Jesus

It's been a difficult and exhausting week to say the least....feel like I'm battling a mountain pile of work, an overwhelming rush of expectations from everyone....from myself. At the same time, I know that there are friends who mean so much to me, going through rough patches....and I so want to be there for them. But I just don't know if I have anything left to give. I don't know if I'm of any good to any one now.....

My heart is tired. It really is. There were so many times this week, I just felt like hiding under my keyboard and crying.

I need You Jesus.......so much.

"Give me Jesus" (by Fernando Ortega) ================================= In the morning, when I rise In the morning, when I rise In the morning, when I rise Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, Just give me Jesus. When I am alone, When I am alone, When I am alone, Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, Just give me Jesus. When I come to die, When I come to die, When I come to die, Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus, Give me Jesus. You can have all this world, Just give me Jesus. Brooke Fraser does a deeply moving version of this song here. It really ministered to me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tsEvV5REww

"What to do with daylight"

"I've been staring at the sky tonight
Marvelling and passing time
Wondering what to do with daylight
Until I can make You mine
You are the one I want, You are the one I want

When the years are showing on my face
And my strongest days are gone
When my heart and flesh depart this place
From a life that sung Your song
You'll still be the one I want"

-'Arithmetic' by Brooke Fraser