Saturday, July 30, 2005

Sonicflood: Glimpse into the Father's heart

I caught Sonicflood live at Sonicfest 2005 last nite. They were certainly worth the wait...the heat, the teeny boppy crowds etc. I was absolutely blown away, totally impressed and inspired by them. So inspired, I came home and wrote a song abt resting in His love, in 90mins (that has never happened before...so naturally).

Sonicflood was superb musically...they were so tight as a band, and so creative in their song arrangements! Plus not only did they know how to totally rock out, but they also had a whole load of heart. They drove home that point....and they emphasized that it's impt to see beyond the music, cos it is so much deeper than tt. Awesome!

In fact, it wasn't the music that was the most memorable for me, but hearing them share their testimonies. After hearing tt, the music really seems to come from a real place.

Here's frontman, Rick Heil's testimony in print (taken from their website). Not as good as hearing it live, but you get the rough idea of his journey. I was really moved by it. n it reminded me once again....to check the perspective of God that I was carrying.

Try to read all the way to the end of the article below. The part abt them opening up his stomach wall, and him having to do post-op breathing exercises, n learning how to sing all over again really made me drop my jaw. Or mebbe it's just me, cos i see it from the vocal coach's perspective.

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The follow-up to 2003’s Cry Holy, This Generation (2005) sees Sonicflood entering a new season that includes welcoming new players, a season that frontman Rick Heil hopes will lead people to a definitive understanding that God’s heart is truly good.

It sounds obvious. After all, we learn about God’s goodness from our earliest days in Sunday school. “But in today’s Church, we have a tendency to doubt our Father’s heart,” Heil says. “Satan’s first lie was that God is holding back and He doesn’t care about us the way He says He does. Satan planted that seed of doubt in mankind back in the Garden.” Through the songs of This Generation, Heil & Co. hope to help uproot that seed.

This is also a season of celebration for Heil as he rejoices over being healed from Crohn's disease, a painful intestinal disorder he’s lived with for years. “Normally, you have it for life,” Heil explains, “but I was in the hospital in March and one of the top surgeons went through all my intestines and said there was no disease to treat.”

For so many years, Heil praised God through the pain. Now he’s thrilled to celebrate the way the Lord has given him back his health. No matter how he’s doing physically, though, Heil knows it’s easy to give in to doubt, to believe that God doesn’t have our best interests at heart.

“It’s something I struggled with throughout this illness and through relationships that have gone awry,” he admits. “When we buy into that, it’s easy to start blaming God for the pain or hurt in our lives.” That’s why Heil hopes that everyone who listens to This Generation will begin to truly trust God’s promise that He has a plan to prosper us and not harm us.

“I think worship is the strongest tool we have in fighting those negative messages,” Heil says, adding, “You are what you’re filled with. The great thing about music is it is always available. If you feel overwhelmed by this life, you can crank up the tunes and let the Lord minister to you and get refocused.”

The doctor who treated Heil in Spring 2004, when his Crohn’s disease all but disappeared, was a Christian physician aptly named Dr. Church.
- Even with most evidence of Crohn’s disease gone, Heil still had some recovering to do after his last surgery. During the procedure, they opened up his entire stomach wall. As a result, breathing exercises were just part of a post-op regimen that found Heil in his basement, learning how to sing all over again.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Road to Faerie

Searching for words to explain the ageless attraction of fairy tales, J.R.R Tolkien said:
" [Fairy tale] does not deny the existence of...sorrow and failure: the possibility of these is necessary to the joy of the deliverance; it denies (in the face of such evidence, if you will) universal final defeat...giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief."

". . . fairy-stories are not in normal English usage stories about fairies or elves, but stories about Fairy, that is Faƫrie, the realm or state in which fairies have their being. - J.R.R. Tolkien, "On Fairy Stories"


Recently, I've been toying with the idea of doing my Masters in Lit again. I usually brush that thought aside, as it's never felt right for me. But lately, I dunno...it feels different. Like I should get down to doing it. (i follow my gut a lot...and this job requires me to be quite intuitive, so bear with my language here)

If I were to do my Masters in Lit, I know I'd probably do my thesis on Tolkien's LOTR. Probably researching into the relevance/draw of myth/ fairy tales in modernity....which was an area I've written about before in my last term pper. This topic falls perfectly in line with my obsession with unicorns,stardust, and elves and other wondrous, magical creations. haha!

Perhaps, God is telling me now is the right time? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt for me? Perhaps I need to take that journey to recover that child within me? Perhaps I need to 'wipe my windows' and rediscover WONDER all over again.

Seeing in the dark

Today has been a good day at work. :) During my 1st class, we were singing the hymn "Amazing Grace"...and one of my students was so moved, she started crying (not insane outburst of tears, but the quiet, 'touched' kind of crying). We looked at each other, and shared a knowing smile.

In my later classes, I shared with them Ginny Owens' life-story/testimony (she's a blind Christian artiste), her song "If you want me to" and her version of "Be Thou My Vision". That hymn, "Be Thou My Vision" really takes on such a new level of significance when she sings it. It's no longer just physical sight, that so many of us take for granted, but spiritual sight. For we are all walking in the cloak of darkness, and He alone is our light, who helps us to see in the dark.

Anyway, I know that my students were really ministered and touched by Ginny's testimony and her song "If you want me to". Could really sense God's healing in the classes. I'm just so grateful, because I usually dread teaching my Weds classes, as I have 3 advanced classes in one day, very taxing. I really felt quite desperate, and I prayed that God would come and do His work in my classes....help me connect with them, and touch them in His amazing way. He really came through for me. :)

It's days like these, that make it all worth while...knowing that the students have been inspired,encouraged, and ministered in some way.

In His faithfulness, He didn't leave me out either. :)It was a reflective time for me, as I shared Ginny's song with them. I was reminded of all the difficult times He has seen me through (i discovered this song in 2000 I think, from May-ann, who heard it on "Felicity" of all places. haha!)...n there were many heartbreaks along the way.

Sometimes, I find myself ending up in the same place AGAIN and AGAIN, and it can get so frustrating. But well, I know I need to walk on, and trust that He will continue to heal and see me through, whatever comes my way.

I love that line in her song "so take me on the pathway, that leads me home to You".

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"If you want me to" by Ginny Owens
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The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

No I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the darkness
If You want me to

When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

My beginning, my forever

"Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever" ('All for love' by Mia Fieldes)

It's 3am....I think I shld be sleeping, but even in this semi-conscious state, I have a need to blog. haha! Anyway, that's the chorus of "All for love", from the new Hillsong album "God He reigns" (go out n grab, got some funky new tunes). So simple and beautiful! 'My beginning, my forever'...this life that we hv is just a short journey sandwiched in btw. N hey, if He's secured my FOREVER, I'm sure i need not fret too much abt the NOW. :)

Latest update: I'm going Sydney in late Oct with Eunice. So NZ is out...for now at least. Too ex, and not enuff time to cover it well.
At least I get to pay Marty Sampson a personal visit while I'm in Sydney. haha! n I shld tell him to get a hair-cut...he looks awful in his latest hairstyle. (Eunice: back off! He's MINE...U can't hv both Reuben n Marty u know)

It's been such fun planning for the trip, reading bks on Sydney, checking out websites etc! Really brightens up my day. N i love it when i receive emails from Eunice....regarding our hotel reservations and stuff. I think it was yesterday tt I was trying to stop myself from grinning insanely on the bus, while entertaining some pleasurable thot of my Sydney Holiday....i think it was abt roasting marshmallows in the fireplace of our cozy blue mountain cottage. Throw in the horsies, n lavendar farms against the quaint English scenery of the southern highlands...and I'm in heaven!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Floored...

I'm feeling kinda floored n blown away now. Had a short, but quite deep sharing with one of my Disclosure band members. I'm amazed by his candour (i don't think i know him that well u see)....sharing something so personal with me. n we encouraged each other to keep seeking God, to keep praying abt this issue (don't worry, it's not something as major as sexual orientation. haha!)

He later mentioned how he was enjoying and really appreciating the camaraderie and friendships within our band. I couldn't agree more. It's still a surprise for me, how someone like him trusts us so much, to share so openly with us....n his views can be rather unconventional or 'warped' at times even...when it comes to Christianity. He's not even willing to share tt openly with his cell grp.

I believe all that friendly debating, sharing and encouraging within the band has helped him grow in his faith. In fact of late, the tables have been reversing...and he's the one offering me nuggets of spiritual wisdom and encouragement...to keep trusting God! Wow, I think that's so awesome. My bosses have stated very strongly that gigging can't be a ministry. But isn't this proof that it can be?? Has there been healing? Has there been transformation and growth? Yes! and Amen to that.

He ended our conversation with "From a brother to a sister...i love u". I certainly didn't see that coming. :) Thank u Lord for the music and the friendship.

Esplanade Gig Pics (part 2)

I like our photographer...his shots turned out to be quite arty.:) Love his angles. Even the shots of the empty stage were amazing.


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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Esplanade Gig pics!

This is kinda late, but well...bobian, I just received the pictures from George, my band member. He had a friend who took really excellent pics for us. I'll just put up 3 first....somemore coming later, as soon as I re-size them.

This first pic of the whole band is my absolute favourite. Esplanade's outdoor theatre really has quite a breath-taking view of the city.

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Just the 3 vocalists here...having fun, doing our thing.:)
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A view of the audience
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Friday, July 01, 2005

Post on my Bangkok trip

I'm back from Bangkok....most of you have been asking how my trip was, and I'm sure that there will be more who do. So here's a post on it just to let everyone know. haha!

Day 1:
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Departed Sg at 9am on Valuair (Desmond- the fd on valuair sucks, pls feedback. Svce was gd tho'). Reached Bangkok ard 11am. Bernice and I dumped our bags at the Baiyoke Sky hotel, and took a cab to Chatuchak weekend mkt and spent the bulk of the day there. Was a bit bewildering on our first day....as we tried to orientate ourselves and make our way around the super congested city. Plus, it seemed nobody seemed to understand what I spoke and vice versa....so I left the talking/ bargaining to Bernice.

Day 2:
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After our buffet breakfast at the hotel, it was time to hit the shopping centres. We walked to the Siam Square,and MBK area(not very near mind u...we did it with the help of a map). Nothing exciting to report, just shopping. (I started to figure out the local thai accent a bit better, and honed my bargaining skills. haha!)At night, we took the sky-train (their mrt) to the Sukhumvit area for dinner at the famous, and posh Thai restaurant at Sheraton hotel. Gorgeous decor, great service, fascinating food presentation...all for $12 per person I believe.

Day 3:
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We ventured further away from our hotel this day. We walked to the sky-train station (freaking far!! was sweating like mad), and took the train to Central Pier. From there we took the express boat(only 16 baht!!) that took us over the Chao Phraya, the river that continues to flow unaffected, separating the original capital of Thonburi on one side of the river, from today's Bangkok. Many of the historic sights of Bangkok lie on on the banks of the Chao Phraya river which is why it's such a great way to get around. It's like a river mrt basically. Saw quite a lot of temples along the river....the architecture was quite beautiful i must say...but well, not very interested lah.

We got off at the Grand Palace stop...which was supposed to be a 'must see' site. But when we got there....we were told we couldn't go in cos of our sleeveless tops and sandals. Perfect 'NEH NEH' moment...in the end we decided to give it a miss, since we could see part of it from the outside anyway.

After that, we got back on the express boat, and made our way to Khao San rd. It's a famous back-packer's district that was featured in the movie "The Beach". It's filled with quirky guest houses and charming cafes, bars and stalls selling ethnic clothes, accessories etc. This was personally, my favourite part of Bangkok. For those of you who have been to Bangkok, you would know that it's a congested, polluted, busy, rather harsh city. But Khao San was much more laid back....it had a quaint, 'hippie' village quality to it. Plus got lots of eye-candy ang mohs around. haha! Pity we didn't bring along a bk to read...cos it wld hv been nice to just plonk ourselves at one of the funky cafes there and chill.

Next stop was "The Oriental" hotel. We had milkshakes and sorbets at the elegant, very English "Author's Lounge" cafe(this place is quite legendary apparently, because many famous authors like Joseph Conrad have stayed there). We would have had a proper English tea set there, if not for the cost. The waiters were very accomodating to us cheapos who just wanted to soak up the atmosphere....and even gave us free cookies wor. Talk about excellent service!

Finally, we took the express boat, and train again as we headed back to World Trade Centre (near our hotel) to watch a movie- "Batman Begins". Tickets were slightly cheaper there, and we basically had the whole theatre to ourselves (even got waiter serving us 'welcome drink' at the entrance. we were thinking 'warrau, so good one ah?') Btw, it's quite a good movie!! Not the typical frivalous super-hero action movie...it is quite deep and psychological. Doesn't hurt that Christian Bale is soooooo hot either. :p

Day 4
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After breakfast, had a massage at the hotel's spa. Quite painful and ticklish at times...but i guess the lady knew what she was doing..cos my body aches really disappeared after that. Some last min shopping after that, then it was time to head to the airport.

On the whole, it was an ok trip. I don't think i enjoyed Bangkok THAT much cos it was a congested, polluted, ermm...rather ugly (physically) and harsh city. I never like crowds, I'm not that mad abt shopping either. I would have preferred a more laid-back, quiet and scenic place to just chill....give me natural landscapes anytime. They allow me to reflect and rest more.

Walking around, trying to see everything while on holiday can be quite tiring I realize. Also...I guess I need to go away to a more scenic, ang moh country...cos all the Asian cities look the same to me, and I don't appreciate the culture/ architecture that much. Yes, go ahead, label me a potato. Being the English Lit student that I am, it's hard to get it out of my system lah.

Still, it was a good chance to finally see Bangkok, and to just get away from Singapore. Now that I'm back from chaotic Bangkok...I think I appreciate Singapore a lot more again...how green,neat and safe everything is. haha!

My term break will be ending soon, and work will resume on Mon. :( So i'm trying to cherish the last few days of my break.....catching up on 'me time'...cos I didn't really hv tt while in Bangkok. Guess I'm very particular about having that private space...to reflect,to read, to go into my music "La la Land". If I don't have that private space...I'll get cranky and feel unbalanced.

I am REALLY looking fwd to New Zealand in Nov....I am going to try my darnest to save up ok Eunice? I wanna see snow-capped mountains, sapphire lakes, rivers, forests etc. Think I really need that man....hmmm