Austen-speak

An sms I sent to Andrea this afternoon:

"Dear Friend,

I regret to inform you of my delay due to this most unfortunate weather. Do anticipate my happy arrival around 1.20pm. Till then, please proceed with the luncheon should the rest of my party arrive promptly."

In normal sms language/Singlish: "Heavy rain, will be late. Reaching ard 1.20pm. You all eat first."

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A few other brilliant phrases by my friends who have been infected with Austen-speak.

"What impertinence! Insufferable fool!"

"Ah, that is a fine description. Indeed, the gentleman has a dignified air about him."
"Certainly, one must be proper when describing Mr Darcy."
" Yes I do agree, he must not be teased, nor laughed at."
" It would not do to belitte so fine a profile."

"I found it to be a most diverting and pleasurable experience indeed."

"Perhaps he was silenced by your grave countenance?"

(and this one is the winner! I was blown away by it!)
"one cannot fathom the true intent but with such unmitigated brashness, we cannot help but venture an unflattering speculation."