Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Conversation with God


One night, I was fighting back the tears, and asking God why I've got to take this road, this difficult broken path, when everyone else has such a simple, easy, straight-forward journey.
I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to others.....everyone's path is different. But I can't help feeling wistful when so many people around me seem to be living 'my desires/ my dreams'. Why God why??

Then in the quietness, God replied: "So that you'll learn the posture of worship."

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Ecclesiastes 3: 1-11 “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven…..He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.”

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Over drinks with my boss another night, he encourages me by saying something like "leaders never have an easy life. Look at all those characters in the bible- David, Moses, Joseph...God was preparing them for leadership through the trials they went through. That was the important moulding period. So well.....I'm glad that you're going through this shit!"
And then he smiled, and I smiled back in return....with tears glistening in my eyes.

When we walk through that broken path, we are irrevocably changed.
I'm finally starting to understand that the true posture of worship is humility.....getting down on my knees. Bowing down all areas of my heart, my life unto God.

Would I want to exchange my painful life experiences for an easier, more conventional ride?
No, I don't think so. The lessons I've learnt in the journey thus far.....are indeed priceless.
Furthermore, all the shit has really shaken and tested my faith, my foundation in God.

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