The letters of Kevin Molecule- "Anointed Worship Leader"

Ok...so I am kinda 'cheating' by posting what is essentially Andrea's blog entry here. (hope u dun mind Andrea! considering I can't get a hold of the bk myself)Haha! But these excerpts she has posted from Nick Page's bk "Now we're moving into a time of nonesense" (i think tt's the title) are really SOOOOOOOOO hilarious. The guy is Brit btw...hence the irreverent sense of humour.

He actually makes really sharp observations/comments on the current "praise and worship" scene....see if you can catch them from his 'letters' below. hahahaha! I can't stop laughing man...

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The following are excerpts from letters written by a certain Mr Kevin Molecule of 27a Cinderpile Crescent, Stoke Poges, to Mr Dave Davey, Songs of Dwellingness Ministries, Briglimpton, Sussex...

Mr Molecule's songs are particularly interesting, so I've included all of them here. Excellent stuff, you know. All these letters come at the end of every chapter and illustrate the argument Page is making there. If you'd like a teaser, see if you can figure out what Page might be getting at in each chapter. Better still, try singing some of these words!


Dear Mr Davey,

I am an anointed worship leader in my church - the Stoke Poges Strict Tabernacle - and I notice that you are responsible for collecting and publishing worship songs, both in your Songs of Dwellingness Books and for the annual Summer Reaping conferences...

...You will find the song on the enclosed CD as performed by our worship band:

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
We glorify the Lamb once slain
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
We enter into the land all over again.
Build a great big throne with our worship,
Help us to live in resurrection power;
And you will reign
Like a bride ordained,
For our anointed consummating hour.

Repeat
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, etc.

I hope this is of interest to you. Any advice, criticism gratefully received, although you ought to be aware that I have been anointed so any criticism of me will, technically, be criticising God.

With deep humility,
Kevin Molecule
Worship Leader


Dear Mr Davey,

Yes, I do have some more worship songs...And I find that I can pretty much churn them out at the drop of a hat. I've only got to open my Bible these days and the song just leaps out at me!...

...My dad is a bit of a hymn freak and he keeps going on at me about how great all hymns are and how rubbish the electric guitar is. But I tell him that we're in a new world now. Out with the old! In with the new!...

...Anyway, here's one that the Lord gave to me this morning on the way to work:

God is doing new things,
All the time;
Shiny new wineskins
With shiny new wine.
A new anointing,
And new words to speak,
I really hope my wineskin
Will never spring a leak.

Oh, heal our leaky wineskins,
Restore our dried out lakes
We want to feel your Spirit,
When the waters break.

I played this to my Dad and I think he was really moved. At any rate, he had to rush out of the room suddenly. Mum said it was his age, but I think he was responding to my anointingness...


Dear Mr Davey,

...I've tried to...keep [the songs] simple and not let the words get in the way of the worship. Let the music do the job. I don't think people need to think in worship; they need to feel.

Anyway, in the light of that, here is my latest outpouring. It's a simple chant that will just let the emotions do their work:

Isn't he holy? I reckon he is.
His holiness fills every minute.
He's holy and holy; oh holy is he,
God is pure holiness, innit?

Chorus:
He's so holy,
Holy, holy, holy,
Holy, holy, holy, etc. (Repeat until blessed)

With deep reflection,
Kevin Molecule


Dear Mr Davey,

Here's my latest. I've gone for a deliberately funky, up-to-the-minute feel on this. In fact, when I perform this song live, I also bung in a rap section:

Ooh you are so good,
I'm gonna clap my hands,
I just wanna praise you
And conquer heathen lands.
You're so amazing
Your love will never die
Come on everybody!
Lai-lai-lai-lai-lai!

Chorus:
Lai-lai-lai-lai-lai, etc.

With deep joy,
KM


Hi Dave,

...When it comes to words, well, I don't really have any influences - other than the Bible of course! It's more a thing about inspiration isn't it?...

Like with the following song...I hardly had to rewrite a line. What a blessing!

I am entering the land yet again
To see your face veiled in majesty
Standing in my garments of righteousness
Holy wind of God, blow on me.
I come before you now,
Standing humbly on my knees;
I will trust in you
You're my rock in stormy seas
Refine me like the potter and his clay,
Like the deer pants for the water,
I want you to 'light the fire again'.
I'm doing what I oughter.

See if you can spot all the contradictions and inconsistencies in the above offering.


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This one's a real winner...


We will march into the land
With our two-edged sword in hand
But hold it by the handle 'cos it's safer.
I see the Lamb seated on the throne,
And his train,
Once again
Fills the temple with glory!

Terrible as an army with sandals,
We glorigy in the Lamb once slain.
Refine me in your crucible for silver and for gold
And his train,
Of the slain
Once again
Fills the temple with glory!

He is the only one
Who every bore our pain
So take now our grain offering
And his train
Of the slain
With their grain
In their pain
Once again
Fills the temple with glory!

With deep mercy,
KM

Now, here's my favourite, complete with footnotes for each line too! See if you can make sense of what each line means. I'll post the footnotes later ;)


Benaiah-like I face the snowy lions, oh God (2 Sam 23:20 - 21)
Stepping in the sand-marks where you trod
I don't care if it makes me odd,
I want to hunt like Nimrod, (Gen 10:8-9)
In Gaza, Gath and Ashdod (Josh 11:22)
Where Dagon falls right down on the floor before my God (1 Sam 5:5)
Don't let me be like Ichabod (1 Sam 4:21)
And don't let me be like King Herod
But in my old clothes, washed in the blood,
I want to stand where you have stod.

Chorus:
Oh Lord, don't let us miss the appointment,
When we receive your big annointment


Kevin's new CD, The man who put the 'hip' in worship', is currently available on Songs of Dwellingness Records. Kevin has receintly left the Stoke Poges Relaxed Tabernacle and is currently Worship-Prophet at Stoke Poges Far Out Tabernacle. He is a regular worship leader at Spring Bounce, Blackbelt and the Soul Revolver festivals