"The shadow proves the sunshine"

This has got to be one of the weirdest weeks I've had. I'm still in a bit of a strange stupor right now. There were moments where I felt rather burdened for some of the dear friends around me...and sometimes it affects me to the point of near-depression. Then another piece of major news hit me like a bomb....and I felt like the carpet was pulled out from beneath my feet. This afternoon, I was on the phone with someone, and she started to cry as she shared about the psychotic/emotional breakdown she's been going through. But it's the reason behind the breakdown that is just totally out of this world....it's quite disturbing.

Many students have been sharing really deeply in class this week too....which means...yes, the floodgates have opened. In those cases, it's good though....cos they've reached a whole new level of vocal expression, singing in a really personal, heartfelt manner.

It's been quite a mixed bag of events/emotions....so Michelle doesn't really know what to feel right now. But she's thankful that she's surrounded by fwens who lift up her spirits (altho sometimes they dun realize they are doing it). :) For being the light, the love in the shadows for her. Thank you for your listening ears, your words of encouragement, your stupid jokes (haha!) , your cookies, your hugs, your prayers etc. The journey ahead still looks like a challenging one.....but it sure is easier when we walk together. :)

"Just breathe...and every little thing will be alright"- Marty Sampson, 'Inhale'

"Save the cheerleader, save the world"

And after Prison Break..there was Heroes. :) Michelle is loving this show about a disparate group of ordinary people discovering that they have superpowers, and how they're connected in a mission to save the world together. The tagline really cracks me up..."Save the cheerleader, save the world!" haha! I'm not gonna explain it, cos it might turn out to be a spoiler for some.

Some of the characters have really cool powers...like teleportation, flight, mind-reading, spontaneous regeneration, and even the power of persuasion (yeah! tt'd be awfully useful eh? Clever that they gave that power to 'the girl next door') etc. But my fav character has got to be Peter Petrelli (played by Milo Ventimiglia) who has the power to mimic/absorb the powers of those around him. And he can recall these powers at will. That has got to be the coolest....one power to rule them all man!

"You've seen what I can do. There is a side of me I can't control. Maybe it's best if I don't dig too deep."- Peter Petrelli

Birthday Wish List Update

Hey folks, please take note that the Prison Break Season 1 DVD box set is OFF my birthday wish list. Thanks Jo, Shirley and Abi! :) Borders Vouchers are still welcome though, as I can use those to off-set the Season 2 DVD box set. :)

Please try to tell me what you're getting me from the wish list, so that I don't get duplicates. Hehe! Thanks! If you're broke, just get me the origami paper (seriously! don't worry abt it). *winkz*

Speechless.... (again!)

I usually look forward to Sun mornings, cos God speaks to me in a very spot-on manner regarding specific concerns/needs during each service at Riverlife church. It's been real mind-blowing and ministering week after week. But today, I woke up feeling kinda down, slightly frustrated......and I actually said this to God, "so what else can You tell me today?" (cos I didn't think that it was possible to top the "I am free" service 2 wks back. How stupid of me!)

So I went for service with Marcus, Muffin Boy, and Shirley. We were worshipping in the sanctuary...and then the 3rd song was sung. It was "From the Inside Out," which we actually don't sing all that often in church. That was the first 'wow', cos I've been singing that song in my classroom intensely for the past week, and God has always moved powerfully during those sessions. I've been listening to it on my iPod during my private time too. God's timing is amazing, once again.

Then came the 2nd 'wow' during the sermon. Pastor Vincent preached about how radical trust in God during times of crisis is possible with a firm recognition of God's sovereignty, and a thorough grasp of our identity in Christ. That's the exact same theme I've been teaching all week in the classroom. *speechless*

I guess I was too busy ministering to the students, and praying that they would encounter God, that I forgot to experience Him for myself. Today was a reminder and a time for me to internalise the lessons myself. Just when I was starting to get a bit jaded out, God comes along and reminds me that He knows.....all that is hidden in my heart.

Goodbye Will

Looks like we've come to the end of the road.
Just remember that you and I both loved.
And that you're still a friend of mine.
I wish you love....
Farewell Will! *sobz*

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This is the last night Will will be spending at my house. From tmrw onwards, he goes into Nigel's hands. Take good care of him bro!

God moments

I'm just so grateful for the abundance of God moments these days. :) The reality of God's presence and love has been blowing me away. Today was a rather packed day for me....running around like crazy. But it was so rewarding. :) Bernice and I started the day by heading down to Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church to observe how they led the Alpha course sessions (an introductory course to Christianity for pre-believers). I was quite moved by the sincerity of the volunteers running the programme. It was very heart warming to see the church unite in love to share the gospel. Today's topic was on healing....and as we prayed for each other and as we sang 'Holy Spirit rain down', I just felt the tenderness of God's love falling down upon us in that place. :)

Lately, my classes have been worshipping with the songs "From the Inside Out" and "With All I Am." And God has been showing up so powerfully in the classes. Sometimes students tell me they'd get goosebumps ( and to think I thought it was only me! haha!). My final class for this evening was particularly passionate and engaged in worship. They're such a blessing to have. :) They really lavish praise on God...and in response to their hunger for Him, God moves so powerfully among them. I couldn't stop playing/singing cos quite a few of them were crying...so we just lingered in worship. We ended the lesson 1/2 hr beyond time...but everyone was fine with that, cos it was a huge God moment that couldn't be rushed. :)

I'm incredibly grateful for these precious God encounters. Something is stirring within my spirit.....it's a scary but exciting feeling. There seems to be a deep passion or burden that He's placing within my heart these days. It comes over me like a wave at times....I could be talking to one of the youths in my classes, or simply watching the church worship during services, and it wells up in my heart, and I feel like crying. I'm not totally sure where He's directing me to....or what is ahead. But something is stirring for sure.

What are You trying to tell me God?

Hello Went! :)

Will & I have been together for 1 yr and 5 mths. He was a great companion, we had memorable times, and loads of fun! But of late, Will has been struggling to keep up with me. The poor lad tried his best....but well....he just couldn't handle my needs. I need a real man you know?
Well, so sad to say, we had to part ways. I'm sorry Will. You're still a friend of mine ok?
Anyway, so out with the old (30gb iPod video), and in with the new (160gb iPod video).

Everyone....meet the new man in my life. His name is Went. :)

Courage and Calling

"Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the
 Lord rather than for people."
(Colossians 3:23 NLTse)

"we long to find and do work that is
meaningful, that makes a difference and needs to be done."
(Gordon T. Smith, Courage & Calling)

Sometimes this girl dreams of flying away,
of being in fairer climates,
of being in the stimulating environment of a university again,
of growing penguins in the garden with Bernice (don't ask!).:)

But at the end of the day, she just wants to be in the right place
that God has called her to. 
So for now, she gives thanks for the daily miracles in her little classroom.
For the tears and the laughter that were shared;
For the hearts that were revived;
For courage that was found;
For the reality of His manifest presence.

Let Your grace fall like rain Lord....

My Thai Fwen

Meet my new fwen...who flew here all the way from Chatuchak market, Bangkok. :)He's a cute litte blue elephant...but I have no idea what to name him. haha! And he's a gift from Desmond, who's looking terribly sheepish as his pic is being taken.

"Computer says no"

I can't believe it.....but the day has come.
This. is. the. end.
When I tried to add new music into my iTunes library, the Mac said "no".
I've maxed out both my Macbook Hdd and my 30gb iPod. And I've only had them for slightly over a year. I'm so upset.
When I whined to Rie that my life is over, she laughed her ass off at my apparent 'crisis'.
So I guess I deserve it for stuffing new albums into the Mac every week.

I'm in agony. This is the season where everyone is releasing new albums!!! I have a whole list of CDs to buy. Bleahhh! :(
I need to get that 400gb external Hdd, which Rie says can "stuff the whole of S'pore".

"Broken lights on the freeway...."

"I'm falling apart, barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing.
In Your name, I find meaning.
So I'm holdin' on. Barely holding on to You.

The broken lights on the freeway
left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
Haven't forgotten my way home."- 'Broken' by Lifehouse

'Broken' from Lifehouse's latest album, "Who we are", has been a favourite song of late with Abi and I. I'm so totally loving Lifehouse now! We'll blast their songs from our cubicles and sing along together from the bottom of our emo hearts. haha!:) I think Lifehouse, like Switchfoot, is doing a brilliant job in appealing to both the mainstream and Christian music listeners. Their songs are easy to relate to, plus the reflective lyrics and memorable lyrics are a winning combination.

I've uploaded some of their songs on my multiply site: http://jazzymoo.multiply.com/music
1) Broken
2) Storm
3) Whatever it takes
4) Blind
5) Everything

'Broken', 'Storm' (haunting, hymn-like number which took my breath away), and 'Everything' have rather spiritual lyrics....and they make pretty good, contemporary songs to do as special items in church, or as part of evangelistic events. :)

'Whatever it takes' is an interesting take on relationships...it's about learning to open up and be vulnerable to each other, even if it means revealing our flaws or brokenness.

"If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"- Lifehouse

"I Still Believe" by Jeremy Camp

Though the questions still fog up my mind
With promises i still seem to bear
Even when answers slowly unwind
It's my heart I see you prepare
But its now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

Chorus:
I still believe in your faithfulness
I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word
Even when I don't see I still believe

Bridge:
The only place I can go is into your arms
Where I throw to you my feeble prayers
In brokeness, I can see that this is your will for me
Help me to know you are near

My boo fwen! :)

The BMI office on a Mon evening...
=================================
*strange, high pitched falsetto singing streams from the pantry*
Somebody goes: What's that sound???
Mich: *from the opposite end of the office* Must be the blue one lah...
[cos Danny is my boo (blue) fwen]
Bernice: Yah lor! The blue one!
All: LOL
Danny: *shouts * Eh! What blue one? Got name one ok?

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I'm so grateful for my boo fwen (Danny) and my yellow fwen (Berno) and my green fwen (Abi)! :) Yay! Michelle is irrepressibly happy these days! :)
[regular doses of musical excitement help]

From the bottom of my emo heart...

Recently, Abi and I have been sharing music, and gushing over our favourite songs by Lifehouse, Jeremy Camp and Shane & Shane etc. And we've come to this interesting observation....
"What's up with the positive/uplifting lyrics + the emo tunes???"

It's like we can't listen to whole albums by our favourite bands/artiste for too long, cos the melodies are quite melancholic and it does affect our moods despite the overall positive message. But like Abi said, that's what makes emo pple like us buy their albums in the first place.
Ha! No one can beat Damien Rice though....listening to his "9" album makes one feel suicidal.

Chijazz Festival 2007

Michelle is exhausted, but high on great music this Sun!! :) Service @ Riverlife church was brilliant once again. The band was in top form as they led us into a time of rousing praise with Israel Houghton's version of "You are Good" and "I am free". Andrea said the band spent 1 hour on "You are good" alone during rehearsals. Their labour of love certainly paid off on Sun.

The band was super tight...the congre just embraced the new song and it was incredible how the atmosphere soared as we sang "I am free". Marcus and I were just blown away. :) Awesome stuff! Something really happened in church today...it wasn't just musical hype/excitement....it was a real, authentic, full on God-encounter. :) It was amazing to see the church unite in worship like that. So exciting lah! :)

After lunch with Marcus, Muffin boy...who entertained me with his happening stories about NUS/hall life...I headed down to HMV, Citylink. I left with 2 CDs: Incognito's latest (i think, cos i cldn't find anything newer) "Bees + Things + Flowers", and Lifehouse's new album, "Who you are". I almost bought Josh Groban's new Christmas album, the new Stereophonics' and Matchbox 20's albums too. But I held back, cos I remembered I already had Jeremy Camp's Live album in my bag (Andrea helped me buy that). Why are all the new CDs coming out now???? Die....it's a conspiracy as Marcus says. Now I dunno wot to listen to. haha! I still have the new Casting Crowns, Parachute Band and Paul Baloche albums in my iTunes library.

Anyway, later in the evening, I met up with Jon, Belinda and Audrey for the Chijazz Festival @ Chijmes. It was a fun, refreshing change in activity for a Sun evening. The fabulous mix of live jazz, funk, soul music certainly inspired, excited and refueled me.

The first band....i THINK they were called "The Mighty Chief" or something. haha! Tim O'Dwyer was on sax, Josh Wan was on bass, and Kerong was on keys. Can't rem the drummer and guitarist. They played some really exciting funk music for us. A great way to kick off the festival.

Kerong was insane on the red hot Nord! arghh. And of course, next to him we have the genius Josh Wan.

A view of the audience on the lawn. It was a lovely, breezy night. Love the twinkle lights on the trees.

The 2nd band...not very memorable. But check out that interesting double bass!

Probably the highlight of the night....the "Funk, Soul Brothers", an ensemble of some of the best musicians in the local music scene. My gosh, were they on fire tonight as they played energetic soul, funk numbers from the likes of Tower of Power, James Brown and such!! Apparently, they only meet once a year to perform for Chijazz. So it was quite a treat what we saw. I've certainly not seen a local ensemble like this in S'pore before.

The "Funk, Soul Brothers" kicked off their act with the Tower of Power number, "Soul with a capital S". The sax and horns sections were a feast for both the eyes and ears...with their coordinated movements and mind-blowing instrumental solos. Josh Wan was on keys.....and I can't stop saying how genius that guy is! What impressive finesse and feel! The crowd went mad for this band....and they finished their set with a well-earned encore.

Thank you God for great music!!!! :) :) Michelle is a happy, satisfied girl from her fill of sweet, soul music!

"There's a plan to make all of this right"

Remember my silly post about my ugly paper crane? Well, Abi beat me to it, and made a paper swan for me! Which is what Scofield folds in Prison Break anyway. I couldn't do it cos the steps were pretty complex. Yeah, so this is what I found on my desk today. Thanks Abi!

And yes...she wrote the classic Scofield line inside the swan, "There's a plan to make all of this right". :) That line has been on mind quite a lot of late....I can just imagine God saying that to us. Afterall, He has already set His rescue plan in motion.....and that is just so reassuring. :)

Thumper!

Meet Thumper! My new loppy-earred, bunny fwen!!! :) Doesn't he look like a soft toy? He's so cute. haha! He lives at my cell leader's house.

Thumper likes being stroked and carried like a baby. He's a funny boy, and he will even lick you to say "thank you" for stroking him. :)

Happy Birthday Jasmine!

It was Jasmine's birthday on Weds! Check out the impressive cake that her bf sent down. Got electric guitar, violin and score leh! Trust the coaches to analyse the score and go, "Wah, it's a 6/8 song, and it's in F major!" haha! Talk about occupational hazards. I think someone even said, "What song is that ah? Eh go and play leh." Wah biang. There was talk that if we ate the cake, we'd be more musically inclined too. Haha!

Jasmine's desk was bombarded with balloons and our birthday pressies for her! Loads and loads of snacks! (SuperRing, Chickadees, Rollercoaster, Twistees, Mamee)

My Paper Crane

Check it out! Michelle made a paper crane!!! :) Woohoo! Stop rolling your eyes, I'm not good with handicrafts, origami crap ok. That took a lot of effort! And it was all to surprise Abi. I dropped it off at her table with a 'secret message' inside. The girl was so sleepy that day, it took her quite a while before she realized it was sitting there. But finally, i heard the scream, "Michelleeeeee!" haha!

Ok, so the significance is this. Scofield in Prison Break communicates to Sara via secret messages in paper cranes/swans. See the peekture above! :) He wrote to Sara, "There's a plan to make all of this right" (the dots are code). Awwwww! Yes Andrea, I like this peekture very much too. :)

OMF

Berno: What thinking you my fwen? :)
Mich: We're going to fly away tonite!!
Berno: Oh, you know the chords ah? *grinz*
Mich: *blink* EHHH?!?!?!
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In case you haven't realized, Berno did that on purpose. Good way to throw people off, just give some totally weird/illogical reply. Oh my fwen! (OMF) :)

Learning to be free...

About 5 secs after I posted the earlier entry about Rom 8:38...and overhearing the song "I am free" 3 times today....my fwen Andrea, informed me that we'll be singing that song for service this Sun. And this is the FIRST time we're singing that song in Riverlife Church mind you.

Talk about freaky. I'm speechless.
.........

Romans 8:38: "Undaunted Radiance"

A friend sent me an sms about Romans 8:38 on Mon.....and to be honest, I didn't think much of it as I was busy zipping in and out of my classes. But on Tues nite....I was reading my Oswald Chambers daily devotional as usual before bed......and the entry was about Romans 8:38 again!! And I'm not even following the devotional by date you know. I just started reading it from Jan 1 from the day I received the book. I was quite stunned by God's timing.

Looks like God really wanted to say something....and I couldn't ignore it as much as I tried to by keeping myself busy. Today was quite interesting as well. I overheard this song "I Am Free" 3 separate times today....all 3 were different versions! Priscilla who was with me, commented, "God must be telling you something. :)" Yeah, so God has been speaking to me in amazing ways of late...and this girl can't even brush it off as mere coincidence. I am just gonna post the song lyrics and the entire entry by Oswald Chambers here ....cos it's really good and worth the read.

"Undaunted Radiance"- By Oswald Chambers, from "My Utmost for His Highest"
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Romans 8:37-39
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Paul is speaking of the things that might seem likely to separate or wedge in between the saint and the love of God; but the remarkable thing is that nothing can wedge in between the love of God and the saint. These things can and do come in between the devotional exercises of the soul and God and separate individual life from God; but none of them is able to wedge in between the love of God and the soul of the saint. The bedrock of our Christian faith is the unmerited, fathomless marvel of the love of God exhibited on the Cross of Calvary, a love we never can and never shall merit. Paul says this is the reason we are more than conquerors in all these things, super-victors, with a joy we would not have but for the very things which look as if they are going to overwhelm us.

The surf that distresses the ordinary swimmer produces in the surf-rider the super-joy of going clean through it. Apply that to our own circumstances, these very things - tribulation, distress, persecution, produce in us the super-joy; they are not things to fight. We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. The saint never knows the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but because of it - "I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation," says Paul.

Undaunted radiance is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can alter. The experiences of life, terrible or monotonous, are impotent to touch the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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"I Am Free" (by Jon Egan)
==========================
Through You the blind will see,
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise,
Through You all hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams I am free


Chorus:
I am free to run (I am free to run)
I am free to dance (I am free to dance)
I am free to live for You (I am free to live for You)
I am free (I am free)

Christmas came early...

Look at my pretty new scarf!! :) It's an early birthday/Christmas gift from crazy Steph who came back from Japan for a short visit last weekend. The girl dragged me to Bugis St village. (which i hate)...the place that's like chatuchak.....to shop for souvenirs like Merlions for her friends in Japan. haha! And I creeped her out by constantly referring to myself in 3rd person.

Anyway, thanks loads for the lovely scarf Stephie. I love it....let's hope I get to use it someday. :)

Yes, I'll fly awayyyyy!!! Abi....we need to go to Hawaii one of these days.

Blueberry Pancakes!!!!

Gloriously yummy blueberry pancakes with Belgian Choc ice-cream and MAPLE SYRUP from Cedele, Wheelock Place. It's too bad that nobody was around to take a photo of our faces as we took that first bite. First, it was a look of surprise, then delight, then came the swoons...haha!

And well, those who watched Prison Break 1 will know the significance of blueberry pancakes to Lincoln Burrows. :)

WWSD

This is why the blog has been pretty silent of late. Blame Scofield.
And now I've got Andrea hooked too. So we're both screaming in front of our computers late at night, while watching Lincoln Burrows and Michael Scofield do the most insane things on Prison Break. haha!

I'm finishing Season 2 soon though....so stay tuned for the flurry of blog posts. :)

(Btw: that's a t-shirt design that Abi, Andrea & I intend to print for ourselves. It's Abi's original design. haha! We're mad I know.)