Oh Pam...

In the office:
==============
Jo: I'm going downstairs...you need dinner?
Pam: Hmm....I'm not thirsty leh.
Jo and I: !??!!?
Jo: Er, I asked you if you need to EAT, not drink.
Mich: Oh Pam....you fail listening comprehension ah!

Get your praise on!

To be absolutely honest, it doesn't come naturally for me to 'count my blessings'....being the emo person that I am. (the emo-ness is fantastic for music...but not so fantastic for one's personal life.) But I'm learning to be content and grateful with what I have, and wherever God has placed me. :) In the words of Israel Houghton & New Breed, it's time to "get your praise on!" And truly, it's an important habit to cultivate.

And here are a few reasons why I'm giving thanks:
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1) I'm in the midst of organising a few jamming/ gigging sessions with good frens!!! Oh boy, this is gonna be so fun if it works out.

2) Am planning a trip to the recording studio too...to get some proper demos done. :) Am eager to hang out with Kuching Boy too at the recording studio, as he works on his album. I'm so happy for him...that his dream is materialising. I was with him since day one as a struggling songwriter...and he's come so far now. :)

3) My colleague Daniel Wilson's baby girl, Faith, was delivered today!! yay! :)

4) The new fwens that God has blessed me with this year. I really treasure these precious God connections. To be able to be totally real and honest with these fwens is just wonderful. :) Being able to talk crap together is as important as having those heart-to-heart talks. Know what I mean?

5) Muffin Boy is having a really fruitful mission trip in Japan. I'm so proud of him, and happy for him that he's learning and growing so much in God! Hearing his excitement over gmail chat is so heartwarming. :)

6) Term break is coming soon!!!!

7) My parents are heading to KL over the weekend, soooo, it's gonna be pyjama party time as Audrey stays over tmrw nite!! We're gonna have beers or vodka, eat popcorn, and watch Return of The King, as we drool over Aragorn in all his dirty, rugged glory. haha!

8) For the choir prac that I just came home from! Being able to sing really chases the blues/ stress away for me. :) And of course, I'm loving the fellowship of the choir members. I was particularly entertained and literally tickled by the naughty Alicia. Just hearing her laugh (often at nothing), cheers me up. :)

After choir prac, we were having kopi/teh at the atrium when they made us take this pic cos they thought we looked very cute together...like M&M colours. haha!

L-R: Man Kam, Mich, Clara

Reasons Why You Need A Nord Stage

Michelle is in love....

1) It's red hot baby!
2) Cos you can finally play all those Israel Houghton songs with authentic sounds
3) Cos you've got to funkifize.
4) It's got amazing, classic piano, organ & synth sounds all in one gorgeous package.
5) It won the 2008 M.I.P.A award for Best Stage Piano for the 3rd consecutive year.
6) It's going to inspire you to play more expressively. You just know it.
7) Cos artists like Sarah MacLachlan, Sheryl Crow, Maroon 5, Hiromi etc play it.
8) It would look perfect beside your Mac...c'mon you know they'll be gd frens.
9) So you can sing "Oh baby you've got it all..." to it. (Jason Mraz groupies will know which song) haha!
10) Have I mentioned it's red hot?

Excerpt from a conversation with Andrea:
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Mich: OMG, we so need to get the Nord Stage 88 for our church! We'll be the coolest church in Spore, and I'll be so proud to be a Riverlifer!
Andrea: haha! Just bcos of 1 keyboard?
Mich: Yes, indeed! Bcos of the red, hot Nord!

Finding My Faith

"To believe is to begin"- Brooke Fraser

Am finding myself at that point where God is stripping away all the stuff that my 'security' is built on. So what am I left with when all that is familiar, or held closely to my heart is taken away?

My faith.

"Strong Son of God, immortal Love,
whom we, that have not see thy face,
By faith, and faith alone, embrace,
Believing where we cannot prove;

Thine are these orbs of light and shade;
Thou madest Life in man and brute;
Thou madest Death; and lo, thy foot
Is on the skull which thou hast made.

Thou wilt not leave us in the dust:
Thou madest man, he knows not why;
He thinks he was not made to die;
And thou hast made him: thou art just.

Thou seemest human and divine,
The highest, holiest, manhood, thou:
Our wills are ours, we know not how;
Our wills are ours, to make them thine.

Our little systems have their day;
They have their day and cease to be:
They are but broken lights of thee,
And thou, O Lord, art more than they."
- 'From In Memoriam, A.H.H' by Alfred Tennyson

My Sister's Wedding

Just came back from my sis's wedding dinner at Gallery Hotel. Couldn't get many good pictures with the lousy hp camera....but these are what I managed to get. Every pic with my sis or other family members turned out totally blur, so shall wait until her photographers send the pics to her.

My cousins: Sabby on the left, with her fish face pose. Candy on the right.

With my cuzzies! :)

That's my Auntie Pauline....lighting on this side of the room was terrible.

With my Auntie Rena, Sabby and Uncle Tony! :) They're here only 2 -3 times a year, cos they live in Sabah. And I miss them everytime they go home.

Connect

One of my fav old BMI pics

About 2 weeks ago, I had a weird dream....that my parents lost our flat (again!), and we had to stay with some relative while we searched for a new place. I was feeling very pissed (in the dream), but what really ticked me off was that there was no internet connection at the relative's house. Ok, sounds quite frivalous in that context right?

Well, I shared this dream with Berno....and instead of saying pseudo-psycho dream analysis babble like "your dream reveals a fear of being uprooted again" or "you have an unhealthy obsession with the internet," the sweet, insightful one smiled and said, "but of course, you love being connected to people! So naturally you would feel frustrated when you're cut off from your friends."

Wow. This girl knows me better than I know myself.
I'm so going to miss her when she leaves BMI...along with those who have left already.
Last week 2 ex-BMI coaches, Mich Poh and Danny came down for surprise visits.
It was really funny, each time I opened the door to head to class, I would be surprised by a friendly face, and end up hugging someone. haha!

Mich Poh showed us pictures of her adorable chinese-dutch baby, Krabi...who's showing talent for the drums at 22 mths. :)
Danny even came bearing gifts....a purple stuffed toy flower (those Toys'r'us kind) for me, and a yellow one for Berno. :)

I really treasure these frens.
And there are more of you whom I've not seen in a while, and miss terribly too.
Yes, I know people come and go, and I have to learn how to deal.
But it's not easy for me, well...being the way that I am.

"C.S Lewis Song"

I'm re-discovering this amazing song by Brooke Fraser all over again. It's been on repeat mode ever since I watched Narnia on Sun, and started reading C.S Lewis' "Mere Christianity" again. It is such a poetic song, the language is just stunningly beautiful, and it's filled with so much wisdom.

"C.S Lewis Song" (Brooke Fraser)
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If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary
Then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared

Chorus:
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
as I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just less found?
On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free,
wanting to come alive?
'Cos my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become

Bridge:
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live
I was made to love, I was made to know You
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming

One Desire

"To have a simple heart, is to desire one thing."- Søren Kierkegaard

"One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after;
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,
to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple." - Psalm 27:4

Comfort in the Crossfire

I had a pretty rough night.....my mum has been getting very stressed up over my sister's wedding this Sat, and is giving me hell cos I'm the only one at home she can yell at. It's really difficult to control my temper and love her when she's being this cranky, unreasonable and downright rude. I'm trying my best...but it just sucks to be caught in the crossfire of family politics, trying to be the mediator between my mum, sis, aunts, grandma etc.

I was feeling pretty lousy and shaken when I went to work today. In fact, I totally skipped lunch at home cos I didn't want to listen to my mum rant. Read a bit of C.S Lewis on the mrt...which was much needed, to help me get my heart right. Then I met Berno for our weekly keyboard lessons (we take turns to teach each other keys/vocals)...and well, the music is always healing.

Later in the evening, I caught Erica in the pantry. And this was the short but amusing exchange that took place:

Mich: ERICA! *affectionately* My Olive Green Fwen! :)
Erica: *proud, wide smile* I KNOW!!
Abi and Mich: *stunned silence....before erupting in laughter*
[what a response right? so funny.]

After that little 'commercial break', I returned to my classes. It's presentation week, so it gets quite intense for the coach in terms of work and concentration level. Thank God for wonderful students. In my first class, I had this super encouraging boy, G, who would say, "shouldn't we clap first?" before his classmate presented. Bless his heart! And after that, he would always be the first to initiate a round of encouraging applause for his other classmates. :)

When my classes finally ended at 9.50pm....my student, S, came up to me and gave me a long, warm hug. It caught me totally by surprise and I asked her 'why?' She said, "you seemed a bit different today, not like your usual self." She's a pastor by the way...spiritual antenna really powerful man! I was really touched by that...and had to hold back the tears. Seriously, I had no idea I looked any different to them...I was so busy trying to learn and play their presentation songs, while listening to them sing in order to give them feedback later.

God is truly amazing in the way He sends people our way to show us His love.
I'm reminded of that day when I was singing on stage a couple of weeks back, and I heard Him say to me so clearly, "I am with you. And I know your heart."

Hope is coming for me

Things have gotten a bit hectic for me to sit down and blog....and I really should be sleeping now, but I feel very strange indeed if I don't get to pen my thoughts down at some point. So here I am, lying on my bed and blogging about the very busy week that passed. :)

I fell sick (ok yes again) with the flu earlier in the week....which got me all worried cos I knew I had to sing for svce on Sun. Other than that, I don't remember much of the work week. It usually passes by in a quick blur.

On Fri, I got my music fix when I attended a jazz concert by M'sian singer-songwriter, Mia Palencia, with my Olive Green Fwen Erica. Mia and the band members were Erica's music college mates in KL, so she wanted to go down and support them. We had a nice dinner of rice paper rolls, Duck Noodle Soup/ Beef Noodle Soup at Siem Reap, Empress Place...after which we headed down to the Arts House hall next door for the concert. Erica's frens joined us there as well. It was a very beautiful (think grand, white columns and lush, red curtains) but small hall. There were probably only 40 people or less in that room...which made it more intimate I suppose. We got seats right in front of the gorgeous stage. Mia Palencia surprised me with her thick, soulful vocals and original compositions. Even her covers were done pretty well, eg. she performed a classy bossa version of a Maroon 5's "Won't go home without you"! I wish the set was longer than its 45 mins though.

Sat was largely a family affair with my aunts and cousins from Sabah. (Gosh, I'm spending my weekend with all these M'sians!) They're in town for my sister's wedding this Sat. After work, I headed down to Ikea Tampines to meet them. We had ice-cream and coffee at Haagen Daaz, Tampines Mall....shopped for a bit before having a long dinner at Seletar Country Club. I'm not particularly close to my parents, cos most of you know how my parents are like....but I always love hanging out with my aunts and cousins. I get this warm and fuzzy familial feeling whenever I'm with them. They love and support me unconditionally, and they're open and free with their hugs and kisses. I wish they were here more often.

I sang for 2 svces on Sun which is always fun and fulfilling, even with the severe lack of sleep. I never tire of seeing the church love on God during worship. It's the most beautiful sight on earth. :) I'll admit though, singing was quite difficult initially during the sound check, cos of the throat infection I had from the stupid flu....but the band prayed for me, and it gradually got better. Think God was building my faith in Him too....as the healer of my heart, mind and body. I'm learning Daddy...to just trust and obey You, to empty myself, and be the vessel in which You flow through. :)

After svce ended, I rushed down to meet Berno and Henry Choo at Cathay, to watch The Chronicles of Narnia: The Prince of Caspian. I dunno why I agreed to it, cos I was pretty much ready to crash after waking up at 6am, and singing for 2 svces. Anyway, no regrets cos I loved every bit of it....I found it very inspiring and funny as well. I don't wanna ruin it for those who haven't watched it yet, but Pt 2 really has more comic relief than the first film. Watch out for the mice. Hilarious! There are so many spiritual themes that C.S Lewis has woven into the story, but this one hit home for me.

We all need to live for something larger than ourselves. I was tearing during the battle scenes, cos I was so moved by the fierce passion that the characters had in defending their people and land. The truth is, there IS a battle going on everyday, although we need to see with our spiritual eyes, and we ALL have a part to play, no matter how young or small. Often, there is a sacrifice, a cost that we have to pay for the greater good, or to prove ourselves worthy....but that's when we come alive and become the best versions of ourselves isn't it? When we have something to believe in, to fight for and even lay down our lives for.

And then, there is faith....do you believe? I love how Brooke Fraser encapsulated C.S Lewis's writings in these lines of her song, simply titled, "C.S Lewis Song":
"Hope is coming for me, He's coming for me."

Her song should have been included in the official Narnia soundtrack...along with the Switchfoot song, "This is Home."

Aslan talks to Lucy Pevensie of what lies ahead in her adventure.

After the movie, Berno, Henry Choo and I went to Yamaha, Plaza Sing to play on their pianos, clavis and keyboards. Yes, we just love doing that....testing out instruments which we can't afford. haha! I was trying out this expensive ($12 000) clavi that's shaped as a mini grand piano.....and it made me miss my old mini grand piano so much. At one point, I was like going "ohhh" and stretching my arms out to caress it and Berno laughed and said, "she wants to hug it!" So funny that girl. :)

Henry Choo is wicked on the keys btw....he was like going wild with the jazzy chords, while me and Berno watched on with resigned sighs. Resignation turned to madness as we started to 'head bang' to egg him on with his elaborate runs. haha!

So that's my week....tiring, but I like to think of it as a very full one. :)