Hand Over My Heart

"And so tonight I'll sleep,
with my hand over my heart."

From "A Grief Observed" by C.S Lewis:
==============================
"At first I was very afraid of going places where H. and I had been happy - our favourite pub, our favourite wood. But I decided do it at once - like sending a pilot up again as soon as possible after he's had a crash. Unexpectedly, it makes no difference. Her absence is no more emphatic in those places than anywhere else. It's not local at all. I suppose that if one were forbidden all salt one wouldn't notice it much more in any one food than in another. Eating in general would be different, every day, at every meal. It is like that. The act of living is different all through. Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.

But no, that is not quite accurate. There is no one place where her absences comes locally home to me, and it is a place I can't avoid. I mean my own body. It had such a different importance while it was the body of H's lover. Now it's like an empty house. But don't let me deceive myself. This body would become important to me again and pretty quickly, if I thought there was anything wrong with it."


Thank You Notes
=============
1) May-ann....for dragging me out of the house, and into calorie-ladden Prata Shops for late night suppers. :) You are truly a friend in time of need. And you totally kick-ass!!!! "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIEND, AND WE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING TO THE END *Da Da Da DUMMMMM*". Hurhur!

2) Audrey....for calling up from Brisbane!!! Hearing your voice, always makes me cry. Thanks for always being on my side and going hysterical with me. Thanks for the beautiful C.S Lewis passage too. COME BACK SOONNNNNN!!!!

3) Pammy....my love, we have a beautiful frenship. There is comfort knowing that I am loved by you. I'm working on that poem for you ok? "GIRLFRIENDS UNITED!!!"

4) George....you are one of a kind my bro! I love you, I so appreciate your honesty, encouragement and optimism. You've been a blessing! :) We'll hv our beer soon!

5) Estel....you can be weird sometimes u know! haha! like pissing me off to cheer me up...but ah well....all is forgotten when you speak to me in Elvish. heh! Thanks for you concern....even ur sms from Brisbane. I am touched.

6) Andrea and Bernice....as always, your love and your prayers are so much appreciated gals! :) Thank you for hearing me whine...heh!